I was clam and listened to the manager’s words very quietly. My personality never allows me to lose my mind in front of stranger. So I responded to his layoff decision like a robot with “I see, ok, umm”.
It should be the third snowy day in Vancouver. When I finished the last working shift and went out from the building, I saw the snow falling down. I was still clam without reaction.
I tried to contact my friends in Vancouver and Victoria because one of my releasing ways is to chat with somebody. Unfortunately, they were either working or unavailable. So I left a simple message to them and kept walking.
Until I went into another building full of offices, I did not stop. I found an empty seat and waited for messages from them. Suddenly, my tears fell down and I thought of there was a girl did the same thing around 2 years ago on the ferry between Vancouver and Victoria.
It happens again.
I was thinking was the snow or my tear bigger when sitting alone. I am glad that no one around me came and asked me “are you ok?” “do you need help”. Let me finish this solo performance. Soon, Paul replied to me and we called. He listened to me and let me talk. As someone’s husband, master student, and English teacher, he left time to my too much concern, sufferance, and rare joy in Canada. He is still my best friend here technically and meaningfully.
But tonight, I got one more friend, my Vietnamese ex-workmate. She said she knew how I felt cause she is struggle for job and her identity status. I only left a message to her on LinkedIn but she contributed her whole night to listen to me. She said we could meet in person next week if I need.
I did not know why I left a message to her after all we did not work a lot together. Probably my remote memories of Southeast Asian studies and the obscure connection between Vietnam and my hometown caused me approach her.
I have not known how to get rid of the negative status soon but I am on the track. Accident and life saver are two sides of a coin. Both are unexpected and unpredictable. If you meet one of them in life, it is the time to explore the given puzzle from the nature to human being.